Not Sure I Understand...

 "I don't wanna die
But I ain't keen on living either".

Life goes through many seasons without any reasons.

 

Like, there will be this phase when you will smile patiently and try and not act wild and butcher the world into tiny tiny pieces, then that one phase when you won't stop grinning because somebodies ass is on fire, then one where you will find yourself a hot neighbor,one where you are happy coz your 'crush" got a job,one where you are sad coz more than half of your salary is gone as Income Tax coz you were too spend thrift throughout the year to save some.

But...

I have this perpetual feeling of nothingness inside me, joys don't make me happy, sorrows don't make me sad,nothing makes me angry,I am turning out to be such a chilled out soul but, I constantly have this emptiness , a blank, a clog you can say.

Not sure I understand...

May be its the monotony,where I'm ice skating through my days. Except for the 'ice skating' bit, it's true. Like, you know, going zooom zoooooom zoooooooooooooooooooom through the day and then the speed breaker is when my head hits the pillow and then repeat. 

I think I need to gift myself a vacation, a long one to some distant place. 

Legend-Part 1

A beautiful and large white bull was entering her mouth
A giant elephant having four tusks
A lion
Goddess Laxmi seated on a lotus
A garland of flowers
The full moon resplendent in the sky
The scintillating sun
A fluttering flag
A golden urn
A pond full of lotus flowers
A sea of milk
A space vehicle of gods
A heap of gems
Smokeless fire

Matha was wide awaken in the middle of the night and was shivering with cold sweat on her forehead, she was not sure, did she really dreamed all this or is it just an illusion.

All this was way too auspicious for a sinner like her to dream.Gods must be crazy she thought, and when she gained her conscious she recollected the whole dream and played it time and again in her mind, albeit she was not able to fathom the depth of the purity of her dream, still she was soulfully enthralled.All the while Nabhi was fast asleep to even have a hint of what her wife has dreamt of.

Matha decided to fall back to sleep and share her dream with her husband in the morning, but the thoughts kept oscillating in her mind, was it about the child in her womb, or is it something else, something beyond her apprehension.

Nabhi was doing his usual morning prayers, when he caught the sight of Matha coming to him in a perplexed gait, 

Matha came to Nabhi and informed him about her dream she had last night, she was nervous and excited  to share  the  auspicious things she saw in her dream but somehow she mustered her courage and told Nabhi about the fourteen things she saw last night.

You Drink. I Write.

Writer's block struck me badly, I have been so consistently inconsistent.

The want to write arise couple of time in past few months, but you know folks there is sea of a difference between 'want to write' and 'being able to write'.

I had those days where you write and you delete and write again and than you don't find it worth so you just log off.

Anyways, I know one thing for sure that what drinking does to a couple of you or smoking to few others and music for the rest writing does that to me. Helps.