Sell Your Cleverness and Buy Bewilderment

I am hooked on this quote of Rumi, since long.
Here is my take on it...


Just do the damn barter man!


Go sell your cleverness and
Buy bewilderment.


Selling cleverness is letting go of intellectual, rational mind, sacrificing our calculated approach to everything that we do, we deal with and life.


And I wanna ask...
What do you think,
where your cleverness will lead you,
To the pit, or to the pinnacle
To doldrums, or to elation
To material things, or to real bliss
To love, or to hate.


Or may be something as ephemeral as...
Some calculated happiness, some numbered laughters, some countable smiles..


WAKE UP!


How can you still say, you want love, you want something soul stirring, you want something deep, you want magic.


Go buy bewilderment honey!
Let go this cleverness.


One way to describe bewilderment is when we experience pure joy, when our duality of subject and object disappear and a totally different state (in the zone, another way to put it) emerge.


One way or another we have all experienced this state of bewilderment. Some experience it when one falls in love in its totality.


There is a process of accessing bewilderment and everyone has the birthright to access that bewilderment, and the process involves surrender and acceptance. Bewilderment is also about living life fully and being open to life's fullest (unknown yet flowering) potentials as well.


It may involve few downs, and rough phases and letting go of many things we perceive as of paramount importance but once we let them go, we feel liberated, we feel light and BEWILDERED.


"How will you shine, if you are afraid of rubs"-- Rumi

I Love You Chandler Bing!

Please can anyone make me meet the female version of Chandler Bing.

I am ready to be the male of version of Monica Gellar.
I swear to God I am.

Oh my dear Chandler!
Lets fly off to Neverland.
Lets go and buy
Something old,
something new,
something borrowed,
something blue.

Putting away the apprehensions and flaws and shortcomings and what not.
Lets get married and have kids.
Lets go and make home in clouds where we will play harps and ride unicorns.


Strange Fits of Passion Had I Known!
I may start talking more sense.
But I don't.
I am so full of flaws and demerits and shortcomings and feeble mind and split personality.And I know, I may be the broken pot, and its hard to love me, but nobody have to.And I don't expect the love to be reciprocated, I feel content with loving all my heart and, nah! I don't expect someone to reply my text or talk to me till wee hours and look me the in eye and repeat those three magical words. Nah!. I am good.


And I must say this is one of best feeling, so very liberating. Expecting nothing and giving all.
Ah! Bliss. In real sense.


God knows from where but I am so filled with this feeling of love. That cloud of doubt seems to be drifting away, and my mushy mode is on.


Here is a part of my favourite poem,
by Andrew Marvell "To His Coy Mistress".

'Had we but world enough and time,
This coyness, lady, were no crime.

We would sit down, and think which way
To walk, and pass our long love’s day.

Thou by the Indian Ganges’ side
Shouldst rubies find; I by the tide

Of Humber would complain. I would
Love you ten years before the flood,

And you should, if you please, refuse
Till the conversion of the Jews.

My vegetable love should grow
Vaster than empires and more slow;

An hundred years should go to praise
Thine eyes, and on thy forehead gaze;

Two hundred to adore each breast,
But thirty thousand to the rest;

An age at least to every part,
And the last age should show your heart.

For, lady, you deserve this state,
Nor would I love at lower rate.'

Man! This carpedium poem makes my day.I never get enough of it.I want to read it thousand times and still some more.


And this proposal of Augutus Waters,

"I am in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you."

Nothing can be more precise.And still there will be somebody who will reject you because you shine too bright from them but that should not stop you from shining.


Keep shinning and keep spreading the light.

Stolen!

Love is patient, love is kind. 
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 
Love never fails.

I read these line somewhere and stole them. Author is unknown.

(Call me a plagiarist :p) 

Its oh so! beautifully written.

So meaningful! I am smitten by whoever the hell has written this.

I Am Ancient.

It's a Sunday. As a kid, Sundays used to scare me. Coz every Monday we had a test in school, and moreover, back then I wasn't aware of cooler words like 'depress'. And hence 'scare'.

But now, I love Sundays :]

Today, it's little hot and humid. And I'm only 27. Not 72. But I feel so old and happy and content and retired types sitting in my room with my laptop!

It's so quite in here! I can hear birds! I CAN HEAR BIRDS OUTSIDE! I'm all in wheeee mode cause in all honesty, these simple joys are all will be gone sooner. No. I don't intend to sound like some 8 decades old sitting on his cane chair, but that is what it is.

And watched this movie 'Bend It Like Beckham'.

Joe: Look, I can't let you go without knowing.
Jess: What?
Joe: That even with the distance, and it concerns your family, we might still have something. Don't you think?

It was well put.

In parallel world.

There is, this little tag written on pink slip on the back of my workplace neighbour and it reads

BELIEVE.

This got me thinking what to believe?


I believe in being independent.
I believe in dreams.
I believe in living dreams and not just dreaming them.
I believe in stars.
I believe in stardust(not that filmy magazine you stupid!).
I believe in colours.
I believe in my own sense of style.
I believe I'll be the happiest when I'm in EUROPE.
I believe having a laid back attitude gets you somewhere, it does.
I believe in letting people over-take me(not always though).
I believe in not being bothered on most occasions.
I believe in eye candies, not arm candies.
I believe in standing up for people cause sometimes they are just too meek.
I believe in cameras.
I believe in principles.
I believe in love marriages.
I believe in falling for absolute strangers.
I believe in long walks.
I believe in faith.
I believe in family, not friends.
I believe in humour.
I believe in the power of writing.
I believe in keeping it simple at all times.
I believe in arty people.
I believe in a straight face.
I believe in food.
I believe in being alone.
I believe I am different.
I believe I am not someone you'd want to be with, not necessarily.
I believe myself.


I feel so good about myself, suddenly. I feel like I'm all sorted :]

Know More Sweet Nothings!

Strangers >>> Friends  >>> Good Friends >>> Best Friends >>> More than a Friend >>> Strangers

This is the vicious circle, we all go through, at least once or twice in our life.
Its seems so important to learn and unlearn and relearn few things.

Pondering about
"What if" and "If only"
Can take a serious toll on your life...

What if I say NO,
What if I say YES.

What if you are a misfit,
What if you are Miss Fit (for me).

What if there is no happy ending,
What if there is a happy ever after.

What if we get killed,
What if we survive.

What if we stay strangers,
What if we become man and wife.

What if I get bored,
What if I start writing poetry about you.

What if I give up,
What if I try.

AND...

If only... Its in our destiny.

If only... There is no fault in our stars.

If only... We lived a reel life.

If only... Parents were not GODs on earth.

If only... Solitude is not the best society.

If only... We take the road less travelled.

If only... We can be little selfish.

"Between, What is said and not meant,
And what is meant and not said.
Most of love is lost." ~ Khalil Gibran

Counting Stars

With Rekha Bhardwaj in my ears,
John Green on my hands,
Waves in my behold,
*You* on my mind,
and my ass on the sand.


Life seems pretty curled up.
Like actually.


And she was singing "Dil keh raha hai, usse mukamaal kar bhi aao, wo Jo adhuri si aas baki hai"...
Man! Such a brilliantly written song.It was on the loop since last week or more.
Just cant get enough of it. Plus that mellow voice and soothing music.
Aah! bliss.


John Green you are grand by far. I re-read TFIOS and its one hell of a book. People say its sad and they eschew from reading it ,God helps them!
I see it as full of life, two terminally ill teenagers fall for each other and have their little infinity and show the world how its important to be loved deeply not widely. Its a triumph.
Its in fact best teenage fiction written in recent past.
The way Green have simplified the complexities of life, things like, how the universe wants to get noticed, how oblivion is inevitable, Zeno's paradox etcetera and my favourite part
"Some infinities are bigger than other infinities".
Its all extremely satiating.


Waves.
They do magic.The way they rise from nowhere and die at the shore. And again they rise knowing there fate. It really sets you free, the undying movement. And where skyline splits and horizon meets.
Its divine.

*YOU* are making my dopamine levels go silly.
Seriously.
Just reminded of lines by Frost:
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— 
I took the one less travelled by, 
And that has made all the difference."

And yet there are people who will try and prove Frost wrong and will take the road most travelled, since they don't want to make any difference and with such low level of risk appetite they call themselves the flag bearer of the land of adventure and risk and fancy things like that.


I would rather say " Colour my life with chaos of trouble".

34 D

Content of this blog are raunchy and adult and erotic.People below 18 are advised not read any further.


Here is the story.


He was driving his white pristine Honda City and, she was sitting next to him changing stations on FM. Retarted rain was showing no mercy at all, and then she stopped and the song was "Zara Zara mehakta hai", wipers on the windscreen were dancing on a symphony of their own, road was almost empty with few kids here and there splashing the muddy waters at each other, and she rolled down the window and felt the raindrops on her face, lyrics were doing proper justification to the situation... "Yuhi baras, baras kali ghata barse, Hum yaar bheeg jaye, is Chahat Ki barish Mai"... And she started singing along.


They were having this easy silence and out of the blue boy hold her hand and kissed it and kept holding it for longer time and than girl kissed him back on his cheek making sure to kiss as near as possible to his lips.


And they reached "Big Bite" he parked the car and waited for the song to finish and than they kissed some more and boy skidded his hand down but girl resisted.


They get the down the car and headed towards the restaurant.
They took the window seat and ordered two latte and finger chips, talking about wheather and their love for the rains.


They finished and left for home discussing about romanticism of rains and winds.


By time they reached home it was late and chilly evening, girl asked him to come up stairs and have some tea.

As it was still raining they ran from parking lot to staircase and by time they reached her apartment they were all drenched.


Girl unlocked the door and bought towels and they start playing with them. Boy grabbed the girl by her slender waist and hugged her tight start kissing the back of her neck and groped her arse. They start to undressed each other and as the boy was unbuttoning her jeans, girl stopped him and told him she is down. So, he stopped and started playing with the elastic of her undies with his fingers and start talking to her boobies "how are you my humpty dumpty" girl giggled and said " stop talking to my breast", boy said " oh look they wanna talk" and than girl pushed the boy away and put on her t-shirt and went to kitchen to make some tea.


They curled up on the couch and watched Bear Grylls brave through the hilly terrain, while sipping the tea with some cookies.

To be continued...

To Dream or Not To Dream!

Me without You is a 'Me' like I always was. There never was a You. It was only my imagination. It was only the creative part of me that went wild...

Good dreams go through the middle hole in the catcher while the bad dreams get caught in the web and perish in the dawn.

Get me a dreamcatcher. A dreamcatcher fascinates me. The rate at which I dream, I'd be seen walking the streets with the dreamcatcher in my hand. Sometimes I don't wish to dream about things, sometimes I'm too afraid that Me dreaming about things will only get them farther from me. Does that happen? Is it true? I am in a fix. To dream or not to dream. To dream? or not to dream? There are ridiculous times when I shoo myself into being negative. I am positive about things, but again, I'm too scared things won't go my way, and then I fool myself into thinking negative. Do you do the same?

None of the above justifies my want. But I still want a dreamcatcher. I want to adorn my walls with it.

There is a movie based on 'dreamcatchers'. I was scared as shit when I randomly happened to watch it. But they are pretty, dreamcatchers, why make such horrific movies on them?

I am in the kind of a mood where I want all sorts of magical things to happen around me. I want to be this little fascinated wide-eyed.

For once in my life I'm hoping for some appointment (I wonder what the opposite of disappointment really is.) It almost feels filmy.

 Like waiting for this reply to a letter I wrote.

God? there?

I realized two things.

First, I want / wish for way too many things.
Second, I am actually typing out every little thing that is coming to my mind right now. What happened to me?

Three Words &Two Minds

He: What do you think about interfaith knot?
She: You mean interfaith naught? I strongly believe in it.
Such was the level of her apprehension.


Well this is the story of boy meets girl but you should know upfront that it is not a love story.

Let's not get into the details of how they met and all that shit.


It was the marriage ceremony of some of their common friend, they decided to go together.
Just like that. Nothing mushy.
Others guys asked the boy will you come with us he said nah! I have plans I might be late.


Party will start at 8, so the boy was putting the things together accordingly,he picked his suit form laundry and took out just the right tie, polished his shoes the brightest and perfect pair of socks to go with them, blow dryer plugged-in, bottle of Burberry was just waiting to get sprinkled all over, cab was booked well in advance it was scheduled to come at 8:15 but nobody can outsmart the Almighty.
Ever.


Its was 8:30 still no sign of cab, not even the contact details of god damn driver sweat beads starting to appear on his forehead.He tried and called the cab service number of times but still no answer from them.


At 8:35 mobile beeped
She: Where are you?
He: On the way.
She: Okay.


Still no sign of cab.
And at 8:45 his mobile beeped again message from cab service read: " Dear Sir, We regret to inform you that due to unavailability of cab in your area we are cancelling your booking.Inconvenience caused is deeply regretted."
Holy Moly!!
Just like that how can they cancel the booking. I mean HOW?Boy was at the end of his tether.


But somehow he mustered his calm and kept his cool and called the other cab service at 8:47 and they informed him they will take 20 mins.
 
At 8:50 his mobile ranged.This time its her.
She: Where are you?
He: Oh I am so sorry! I just forgot something, have to go back to my home to collect it, will be there in a jiffy.
She: Okay come fast I am all ready.
He: Okay cya.


At 9:10 driver called asking for directions to boy's home.
At 9:15 girl called again.
She: Please tell me the truth where are you?
He: This time I am telling you the truth, I am on the way will be there to pick you up in 15 mins.
She: I hope you don't like to get killed today by me.
He: Hope not.


And at 9:35 he was at her place, he didn't have to call her she was standing outside her home.


In her yellow sleeveless suit with little green border with churidar and chunni nicely held on left shoulder, with lot of her back visible and big danglers hung exquisitely from her ears and half tied hairs with some locks tossing on her cheeks she looked nothing but beautiful.


He opened the door from inside for her, she was all calm and composed but she declared that they have to get back by 11 and he was fine with it.


They asked the driver to wait for them, as finding the cab on way back will become a mammoth task, so it will be wise to pay a little more rather than paying for it.


And at 10:10 they reached they venue and as they were entering they encountered the other guys who have little smirks on there faces as they were leaving the venue.


Sensing the uneasiness in boy, girl started to talk some random stuff.She told him about her some bike freak friend who just met an accident and how he bought chocolate for her when she went to see him in recent past.


And by the time they finished their dinner it was 10:50 so they hurried to see bride and groom and they clicked few photos and handed the folded envelops to bride's  mother.
And they got pictures clicked together form girl's mobile.


And it was 11:15 already girl start to have jitters. Boy called the driver and they left the venue, girl looked little scared and was murmuring something boys asked 'You okay?' She didn't said anything and shook her head in approval, and stopped the murmur.Boy asked what was that she told him she was reciting "hanuman chalisa".


Next morning the boy asked her to share the photos they clicked last night and she said she can't as she is still unmarried and the boy will flaunt the pics to his male friends and that can seriously jeopardise her matrimonial prospects.
Apprehension you see.


And they than never talked.
By never I mean 8 months.


After 8 months they met and she confessed she has feelings for him.
Three words made the boy have two minds.
To be or not to be.


Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction any resemblance to anyone dead or alive is purely coincidental.