Wednesday, 28 October 2015

Eulogy For the Living

Sitting by the lake on a full moon night, in the stillness of the water moon is shining in its full bloom, and the clear sky was all star studded,cool breeze was giving shivers, and in the bushes around insects were creating cacophony which was getting subdued by rustle of fallen leaves in the wind and an obsolete boat was stranded in the middle of the lake along the pole on which birds were enjoying their nap.

I was sitting on the raised platform with my hands resting on the railing and my chin on my hands, plethora of thoughts oscillating in my mind and with each oscillation I was having goosebumps, "The Big Red Book" was lying in my lap and this poem 

"An eye is meant to see things.
The soul is here for its own joy.
A head has one use: For loving a true love.
Feet: To chase after.
Love is for vanishing into the sky. The mind,
for learning what men have done and tried to do.
Mysteries are not to be solved: The eye goes blind when it only wants to see why.
A lover is always accused of something.
But when he finds his love, whatever was lost
in the looking comes back completely changed."

was doing wonders.

I was in two minds and was not able to decide is it the time to give up or to try harder, maybe this is giving me goosebumps or maybe it is the chill in the air.

But, after lot of arguing with my alter ego and ifs and buts and whens and wheres and what nots, i fathomed that it's useless and will be vain to force someone, because if there is even an iota of truthfulness in the feelings, love will find its ways and if not, than I should not mind losing someone who was never mine.

And all this, should not deter me from expressing what you mean to me.

I don't understand why do we wait for someone's passing to talk about how amazing they were. An eulogy for somenone who cant even hear what you are saying.

Maybe there would be less pain hurt suffering wondering and suicides if we eulogise the living. Start now when when your words can have the most impact. Eulogise those who mean the most to us before they leave us.Save you stress and hurtful words for the inanimate. 
Never have to worry about  saying I wish or did they know how I love them.

Don't  live with regrets.
Our lives all end,
we just don't  know when.

Monday, 26 October 2015

All In One Deep Breathe

Wake up. Struggle. Fiddle. Hit snooze. Wake up. Smile. Groggy. Frown. Smile. Muddled. Wake up. Bend forward at the mirror. Dreams. Catch them. Re-live them. Headache. Blank dreams. Wake up. Mental to-do list. Food. Eat. Drink. Food. Water. Cold Water. The world in a newspaper. Bizarre. Straightface. Interesting. Horoscope. Read and forget. Work. Travel. Exchange strange looks. Eavesdrop. Music. Crowd. Sweat and pain. Virus. Disease. Workplace. College. Class. School. People. More people. More people. And people. Motion. Movement. Slow. Fast. Stop. Think. Move. But never fast forward. Money. Jingle of coins. Crisp notes. Torn notes. Hi. Hello. No hello. Doodles. Numbers. Alphabets. Words. Sentences. Stories. Yawn. Infatuation. Blush. Exchange looks. Twirl hair. Shy. Open. Direct. One way. Dialogue. Monologue. Noise. Air. Time. Time. Time. Rush. Push. Nudge. Work your way up. Work your way in. Work your way out. Music. Food. Sleep. Smile. Lone. Wait. Patience. Hold hands. Short walks. Through lanes and longer routes. Warmth. Love. Dark. Silent. Workload. Food. People. People. People. Re-live. Like. Dislike. Love. Hate. Make love. Make money. Make happiness. Make awesome babies. Die.

Sunday, 18 October 2015

Jab Tak Hai Jaan

She asked me : Kab tak?
I said: Jab tak hai jaan...
            Jab tak hai jaan.
And she smiled and said: Filmy...Ekdum.

Your eyes, mischievous and saline.
Your laugh, an airy insolence.
Your hair, waves undone and shine.
I will not forget this memory rife.
Until I breathe this life.
Until I breathe this life.

Your hand slipping from mine
Your shadow turning its gaze, walking away..
Without turning into a haze
I will not forgive this memory rife
Until I breathe this life
Until I breathe this life

Your dancing heedless in the rain
Your gentle furies raging
Over little things, in vain
Your childish naughty ways
I will love you, through my days
Until I breathe this life
Until I breathe this life

Your promises lie torn
The torment of my thoughts
Seething flames that mourn
The ashes of my heart
Your brutal prayers have wrought
I will always scorn, this burning strife
Until I breathe this life
Until I breathe this life.

Friday, 9 October 2015

Love.

Love.
Damn!
That's the most wrongly used word I reckon.

Conditional love.Unconditional love.

Fulfilled love. Unfulfilled love.

Found love. Lost love.

Ugly love. Lovely love.

Celibatic love. Lustfull love.

Fake love. Real love.

Temporary love. Permanent love.

Neighbour love. Long distance love.

Her love. My love.
....in that order.

Of all the above,what's bugging my mind most is...

Conditional love.Unconditional love.

Really. I mean like really.
Is there anything like conditional love.It befuddles me. That's something beyond my feeble mind.So, I did some introspection and some retrospection but in vain, because I can't even vaguely remember loving someone conditionally.
Its like saying..
I love you if only you look good.
I love you if only behave properly.
I love you if only you care for me.
I love you if only you use right words.
I love you if only you act smart.
I love you if only you love me back...
Etcetera.

Truth be told... Such a love should be quashed at the very nascent stage. Because its not true for sure.
Its more like you have fallen for half of the person, just the good side not for the whole.
And its the easiest god damn thing to do.. To love someone for their good part, and soon as the bad part is visible you just fall out, and start to blame the person.

As Rumi said: Fault is in the blamer, spirits seeks nothing to blame.

Whereas true love is when you love the person as a whole, not just the case of pick and choose the good. Its more about loving the unlovable side, loving their syndrome embracing their faults and seeing the good out of it, come what may.

May be you can tag as victim of optimism, for only focussing on good part and seeing the good in bad.

There are lot of things to be mediocre in life, love should not be one of them.

And I can't stop myself from sharing this beautiful piece of writing by my favourite Khalil Gibran.

When love beckons to you follow him, Though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you believe in him, Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden. For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning. Even as he ascends to your height  and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth...... 

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure, Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor, Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears. Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love. And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself."

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding of love; And to bleed willingly and joyfully. 





Wednesday, 7 October 2015

Oh Dear Mind!

Oh dear mind
Take some rest.

First you make me imagine beautiful things,
Than you make me see the bitter truth.

First you make me write satiating lines,
Than you make me make poor choice of words..

First you make me dream the dreamy dreams,
Than you make me see the ugly reality.

First you make see the magic in her eyes,
Than you make me see the demons inside me.


At times you overpower the stupid heart,
And at times you surrender to its whims.

At times you act so wise,
And at times you turn so dumb.

At times you take me to pinnacles,
And at times you throw me to pits.

At times you are overwhelmed,
And at times you turn so cold...

Oh my dear mind!
Now you must be tired of all this humdrum.
I urge you take some rest..