“May came home
with a smooth round stone
as small as a world and
as large as alone.”
As my head hits the pillow, I turned sideways and pulled the sheets up, closed my eyes and tried best to sleep.
My brain was going berserk, by thinking and maybe overthinking.
I was so smitten that all I could think of is her face.
The curl of her lips.
Knuckles of her hands.
That round little nose.
Cracks in the corner of her black eyes.
Strands of hair on her forehead.
And the ears! Yes the ears, with those shiny little earrings.
Ah! I wish I could paint. Like one of those renaissance painters.I would adorn my walls with her portraits.
I picked my mobile and wrote a text for her and deleted it.Did it again.And summoned my courage again but in vain.
So instead I texted a friend of mine.
“Dude! I met her today. And I am very smitten.”
He replied: “Avoid using the word ‘very’ because it’s lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don’t use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boy - to woo women - and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do. “
“Okay grammar-nazi asshole! I get you.Will you fucking pay heed to what I am saying.” I replied agitated by his untimely linguistic sermon.
“Alright peasant! Shoot! All ears.”
“Attaboy!” I replied and continued.
“So I met Kannan! My only right right swipe. And oh boy! I think she is the one!”
“Don’t ejaculate prematurely. Give it some time. Crazy Fuck!.” He replied.
“Alrighty.” I replied back knowing I am overthinking about it like always and went back to sleep only to be woken up byknock on the door and shouting of my mother realizing I am late for the office.
So I dressed up without taking bath, just sprinkling the remaining drops of my perfume. Drinking the cup of milk, which according to my mom is the elixir and eating the boiled egg on my way out of the house. And as I was about to leave the house my mother again shouted my name and as I looked back she tossed me a apple, which I slipped into my bag.
After few minutes of walk I was at metro station.My destination was nine stations away, which was enough a time to move inside the metro instead of standing near the exit door.
I moved to the conjoining part of the coaches lean against the rubber strips, listening to Linkin Park as kind of a tribute to Chestor. A couple came in front of me holding hands, facing each other.
And my eyes sent a quick reminder to my brain about Kanan. And how much I wish to be with her right than and there.
So texted her instantly
“Sugar Pie! I think I have digested the Denver Omelette! My stomach is asking for me.
“Coffee always help.” She replied instantly.
Which brought a stupid smile on my face.
“What time?” I asked.
“6 ish.”
“Starbucks.CP.?” I asked
“Sounds like a plan.” She confirmed.
Long before I knew , we were in the lift of Warehouse cafe. Our tongues were in each other’s mouth. All I can taste is strawberry of her lip balm and whiskey she drank. My hands were grabbing her ass. The button of the sleeve of her denim jacket was cold and touching my neck, and she was trying to kiss me deeper.
The lift bell rang. And we were at ground floor. We walked to the nearby kiosk and bought cigarettes, sat at the the bench. I pulled her near and rolled the sleeves of her jacket, and adjusted her hair behind her ears and marvel at the beauty that she was.
Took her hand in mine and noticed a little red mark just above her wrist and below the thumb.
“How did that happen?”
“Its a birthmark.”
“Okay. I wish I could be as permanent in your life as this mark.”
“Only change is permanent dear boi!” She chuckled.
“Oh! Damn my parents didn’t named me ‘Change’ else I could have been permanent.” I retorted.
“You’re witty.”
“You’re pretty.”
“That makes a pretty deadly combo.”
And she laughed and I laughed too.
“You want to walk?” I asked.
“Nah, I am good.” she took off her shoes and light the cigarette and lay down in my lap.
I couldn’t resist kissing her forehead, which she really liked as she closed her eyes and took a deeper drag from the cigarette moreover she was under little influence of the alcohol, her voice was getting coarse, she said.
“Can you play some music my boi!”
“Your wish is my command, your honor.” and played Ella Fitzgerald
Her melodies voice filled the air as she sang
“Couldn't sleep and wouldn't sleep
When love came and told me
I shouldn't sleep.”
Kanan Straightened up and light another cigarette, and said “She is good.” And with a pause she said “ You enjoy classics.”
“I do.”
And for couple of moments we were silent enjoying the music.
“I reckon,you appreciate classics too. And I strongly recommend you to watch Casablanca.”
“You mean the movie Casablanca?”
She enquired.
“Yes. The movie.”
“You mean Netflix and chill?” She winked and pulled my cheek.
“Yes.Netflix and Chill.”
I repeated my answer with a smirk.
“That was smooth.” She patted my back, and continued “I have already seen it, but its worth a second time.”
“Did you like the ending? Don’t you think Rick should have stopped Ilsa?” I asked curiously.
“I think he was right in letting her go.”
“I doubt that.”
“You seems like a fan of happy endings.”
“Are you not?”
“Perhaps I am not. Endings are always painful. I would rather settle for a happy middle.”
“Okay.” I said severely hit by cruelty of reality she was trying to explain.
And I light a cigarette. Song changed and Elvis started singing “Love me tender, love me sweet, never let me go,
You have made my life complete and I love you so.”
She smiled and said “I am in love with your playlist.”
We booked a uber and went home eating the apple.
And this love season continued for few months.
And one fine day I texted her. The message wasn’t delivered for hours and hours. I tried calling, number was switched off.
I was worried and wondering what could have happened. Where she could have gone.
And a day passed.
No contact. Whatsoever.
I contacted her friends. They informed she has gone somewhere, they don’t know where.
My anxiety grew and grew.
Another day passed.
To my relief, my mobile beeped and screen flashed
“Text Message Received: Kanan.”
I swiped it open and it reads.
“We had our happy middle. I love you and will always do. I shifted to Paris. Couldn’t tell you before.”
And another message came:
“Please don’t try and contact. Let’s keep it this way.”
“Comeback and makeup a goodbye at least.” I replied falling short of words to say.
And final message:
“Lets pretend we had one.”
And like that. Poof! She was gone.
