Victim of Optimism

I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

I have been suffering from this syndrome since long.

I am someone who is caught up in dreams and fantasies and sometimes in my head I go so far away that I forget anything else ever existed.

If people do or say something for me, I take them very seriously and think that, they meant what they said and did; and knit the future based on their words and actions but more often than not, they put me down and I know for sure that the fault is in me because I start to expect way too much from them or may be because I am ready to do way too much than I expect from them, maybe my condition is akin to that boy who waters the plant and didn't know when to stop, as he has not learned when to stop giving.


I did some introspection and found out that..
I am an outgoing introvert because...

I am not anti-social,I am selectively social and in all possibilities I like people but than I filter them based on their actions and words and how they treat others.

I have two (maybe three) best friends who are my entire life.I am not a “group of friends” person. I can’t keep up with all that and sometimes I retreat into three days of complete solitude to recover from excess socialising.

At times I go out of the way to avoid people, but when I inevitably have to interact with them,I make it seem like there’s nothing in the world I’d rather be doing.

And people accuses me of being flirty with everybody, which is hilarious, because in reality, I can only tolerate like four people.

At times I am at my socializing best where in I will be tweeting and status updating every five minutes… or other times I just deactivate my accounts for weeks.

I am happiest in places like coffee shops and cafés: surrounded by people, but still closed off and keeping to myself.

I prefer to travel alone,with music in my ears and a good book to read but meet up with people once I am there.

It took me forever to figure out that I am an introvert. And when I tell people, even my closest family members, and friends that I am “actually just shy” they pause, and then their eyes go big, and they go: “Oh my god you so are, you social butterfly!”


 I live somewhere between the optimism of my dreams, and pessimism of her reality, and yet someday we shall have our equinox. 
Someday.